A Second Chance, Chapter V

Chapter V

After I visited the granny, I turned and left. I started going back to the house, but then decided not to because I needed some time to think everything through. So, I went to the only place that gave me some comfort and that was the little shrine, which I didn’t know whose it was.

I went there and just sat at that bench looking in front of me asking the same questions over and over again.

“Who am I? Did I have a past life? Do they really exist?”.

There was so much I didn’t know. I went to the old granny to get answers but the only thing I didn’t get were answers. I got more questions that needed answering and I had no way of doing that.

I gave up. I wouldn’t lose my sanity over something, that doesn’t make sense from the beginning. All of this idiocy with gods and gardens and past lives, I was sick of it. I was so mad. I couldn’t find an answer to all of the questions I had, because nothing made sense. And as everything flows so does memory.

I remembered her again. I got that feeling were everything kind of slows down and you are alone, with the person you really like in your head. But at the same time, you realise that you can’t be with her and you are alone, when this weird mix of feelings happens. Like a sea that hasn’t decided what it wants. It can either destroy everything, or just stay quiet.

I was out of options. I really was. At that moment I looked at my right and realised that this was a shrine and it was kind of rude of me being there without offering something, or at least praying. At least that was the excuse I said to myself. In truth I wanted some miracle, for someone to answer the questions I had, or at least help me realise what is going on.

I decided to go and pray. I went to this section, that was at the right of the little offering box. It had candles and some letters dedicated to the god or goddess it was referring to. I kneeled in front of it, with my head down and prayed.

“I am really not the type to pray like this. I don’t even know you or your name. If you exist, I want you to hear to this little prayer and decide what is best for me. I am really out of options and very confused. I don’t know who I am anymore and what I want. So here is the problem I have. I keep remembering things and events, I am supposed to know about, but can’t remember. At the same time, these may be the memories of someone else, may be a version of me from the past. I don’t know everything is a mess at this point. Anyways, thank you for listening to the rumbling of a fool. I hope wherever you are you are happy with yourself. Thanks again”.

I got up and put a bit of money to that little offering box. I turned around and saw Alex leaning against the door, with his hands crossed looking at me. I looked at him and was really ashamed. He looked at me and said.

“Damn, you are really desperate, aren’t you?”.

“Wouldn’t you be?”, I answered.

“Come on let’s go before the god you prayed to hits you in the head, old man”.

I laughed and said quietly “Shut up”. Going back at it now I remember myself thinking that everything was over at that point. That I had enough and was neither happy nor satisfied with the result I got.

But when you pray to a god at a place that is called the garden of the gods, the chances of something that may happen, are high.



Author: Jimmy Novak