A Second Chance, Chapter IV

Chapter IV

So, I started slowly making my way to my friends house. A few time passed and before i noticed the sun had gone down and the moon was shining as bright as it could. I looked up the sky and felt the entire world crushing my chest. I stood still and said to myself: "I hate nights". All of the pain I had stored inside me, regret, loss you name it, came to the surface. That unbearable heavy chain pulling me into nothingness.

I went to find myself and forget, and I got lost. Started letting go, forgiving myself. That is why I avoided nights as best as I could. I started finding stuff to get me absorbed. First thing was games. I was sitting down on my computer for stupid amounts of hours, in order to forget the days troubles and escape the monsters that were chasing me. Then, I remember myself smoking, in order to keep some of my sanity intact. I kept telling myself just a little more suffering and everything will end. Something will happen and you will find your happiness. It almost sounds like a fairy tail.

What a joke. Then I resorted to drinking. I would drink myself stupid. Why did I do it? I don't remember anymore. I started hating that really quickly as well. As my chest was pulled to the floor, I was trying to make my way back. I didn’t have my phone, I just had my lighter with me. The only thing illuminating my way was the moon. You see, that little part I was at, was somewhat dead and deserted.

After a little while, I found myself in the little square before you go trough the entrance and leave. I got really dizzy at that moment. I took a breath and brushed it off. Didn't think it was something. Then I decided to take a break and take a smoke. I am not the most athletic person there is. I opened my jacket slightly reached my pocket and took out the packet. Then I went to the edge, took one smoke out and light it. I gazed at the sky and my surroundings, thinking how vast the universe and the world was and how stupid I was for complaining and whining for the life I had. I stopped myself from thinking any further, because I didn’t want to have any hope. So, I focused on the little details of what was around me. Looked at the mountain side and the little lake with the shrine and the bench I was at. Thinking all of that trying to distract my mind.

It worked and I started to feel better. I found the strength and I continued. As I reached the door, suddenly my head started hurting. The pain kept increasing. I found myself holding it really tightly wanting the pain to stop. I leaned against the wall. I could feel myself collapsing in any second and then it happened. When my life couldn’t get any worse, I thought, I saw a few images in my head or memories. I was there and in front of me there was this girl that kept appearing in my dream. She was sitting on the ledge exactly were I was smoking and she was looking to the sky. It was a bright moonfull night. I could remember every single detail.

As she was looking up to the sky her hair was to the side and the right part of her head was showing. She was wearing an earring and a silver necklace. Her dress was simple. Had small but distinguishable markings. They were like waves fading and dancing with each other in harmony.

You could call her the silver maiden. Then I fell to the floor and I collapsed. I woke up the next day in the couch I first fell asleep to. I woke up not knowing what was going on. Next thing I knew my friend Alex came along to check on me. 

"Hey, how are you? Dizzy ? Nauseous?".

"Yeah both" I said, trying getting up. "Do you remember how I got here? I was at the little-".

Before I could finish my sentence, he finished it for me. He knew were I was. I asked him if he followed me and he answered with a look of "really? Did you just ask that?". You can understand what I mean. 

"It was getting late and you were missing for a while so I took a walk of were you might be".

"I found you then lying against a nearby bench. How did you end up there>>

I then started telling him about, how I walked to the shrine and went back. I also told him about the woman with the blond hair that kept haunting my dreams and that before I collapsed, I saw her again. I saw a memory you could say of her and me being there with her.

He stared at me for a bit and got really angry. I was gonna ask him what did he think the dreams I kept having were. Oddly enough, he answered that before I could say anything.

"It’s probably your mind playing tricks on you. Don’t pay attention, the depression you have is enough".

I listened to his word and didn’t pay attention. I just stayed for a few days in the house, doing nothing. Just relaxing in the couch. My favourite place. I would take a book a coffee and an ash tray for my smokes and I would sit there reading my book and just passing my time.

In case you are wondering I was reading a romantic novel. It was about a couple that got separated and then joined again after a while. It has more stuff in it that keep complexing it but it is interesting. It is a book that Alex gave me. Didn’t expect him to read something like this but he did.

After a while I started thinking again. I went into that old bad habit I had. I started thinking about the order everything had happened and almost everything really. I then remembered about that little shop and the granny I had seen sitting outside. I also remembered the time in the kitchen and the stroke I had at the little part of the village.

My mind connected the parts one by one together and I thought that it was weird. I started asking questions. Who is she really and why do I keep remembering someone I don’t even know. I was convinced it was not a dream. So I decided to explore for a bit. There was no service or internet here, so I had to work with my mind and try and search for a library or something.

I tried to figure stuff out on my own, but I quickly came into a dead end. I then decided to go to the old granny. I woke up had coffee and breakfast and I was thinking if it was a good idea of going to her. Maybe she is crazy or I am gonna get into more trouble I thought. One thing I knew for sure, though was to not tell alex about it. For some reason he avoids her and he is very careful. I tried talking to him about her but he made it clear not to ask him again.

So, I told him I would just go and explore the area that was close to our house in case I got lost again. I burshed it off as a joke. He didn’t suspect me. So even if he was searching for me he would be on the opposite direction of were I was.

I thought to myself I have probably three hours before he starts searching for me again. I started walking towards the little city. After ten minutes I was there. At her little shop. She was not outside though. I looked inside to see if there was someone in but didn’t see anyone. I was nervous as well at that point so I decided to go back. I immediately thought what am I doing here in the first place.

Before I could finish my thought, I was startled by her. She opened the door and greeted me with a smile. I got anxious and I looked at her and said hello. My mind was stuck and I was sitting there like an idiot for a minute not knowing what to say or how to say it.

She just chuckled a bit and told me to come in and take a sit.

"Come on in, take a seat".

"Sure". I took a seat. I was feeling strangely at ease. 

"So what is it that you sell in this little shop. How do you keep yourself busy?" I asked.

"There are not many things someone can do at this age and particularly at this little remote place". She looked at me right in the eyes.

"So why did you come here? I am pretty sure you didn’t come here to buy something".

She jumped straight to the point. She read me like an open book. I was surprised, but I immediately thought that there is no point in trying to hide it. So I told her about what was happening. I told her about the woman I kept seeing and the feelings I have. I told her that, this is not something normal and that I didn’t think it was just a dream.

"You see this place is a bit strange" she said. "It is not normal, by any means. I am pretty sure your friend told you about this place. I don’t know what he told you, but lets take things from the start. This place is called the garden of the gods. As the title implies, there were gods here. But they exist in a place, lets say, far off from us, but very close to us as well. These two places are connected. You told me you kept having dreams that were not dreams but real. This place has a knack for reminding people their past lives. Events that made them who they were or are. You don’t really know what it will show you. But what ever that might be it’s real. Think on that for a while and if something happens you can always come and talk to me".

She stopped there and told me that it was enough for the time being.

Author: Jimmy Novak